Sunday, November 26, 2006

I used to think that falling in-love was a bunch of hoopla. I thought it was just an excuse for people to go around doing really stupid stuff and giving up their sense of personal responsibility because they looooved someone.

Let's face it, the feelings we experience when we first connect with someone are just yummy. The anticipation, the uncertainty, the flirtation, the attraction. Waiting for their call just to hear the sound of their voice, and lingering over that first kiss.

Why wouldn't we want those feelings to last? A long, long time.

And yet, relationships change. The honeymoon phase goes away, and we get caught up in work, kids, family, responsibilities. The distance begins to grow more and more each day, until we find ourselves looking for ways to just connect.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines romance as "a passionate emotional attachment or involvement between people." All the talk shows and magazine covers talk about how to keep the romance alive and how to spark the flame. As if it's dying or going out, one way or the other.

The question is - what do you really like and want in your relationship? Do you want to feel connected, sexy, important? Do you like being touched? If so, how? Do you like having your feet rubbed, your back massaged, your hand held? Most importantly, does your spouse/partner/significant other know that information?

More often than not in my private practice, my clients come to me with relationship challenges or intimacy issues. What we usually uncover, is that more often than not, the challenges are due to a simple breakdown in communication. One half of the couple assumes the other knows what they like, think or want and becomes increasingly disappointed when the other half doesn't do, say or provide that.

In order to Enhance the Romance, we must go back to the basics and take the responsibility to identify what we want. I mean, really want. It's not just about the sex, it's about what makes us feel connected, loved, heard, important. Romance is merely another form of communication - and we have to decide what we want to enhance first in order to get more of it!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I love what you wrote. You describe the very emotions and passions we are all looking for. We want to bask in those moments when we were caught in the storm, or when we danced, played like children, went to a sporting event, or rocked to country music. We create a connection through a collection of high intencity experiences when emotions were high in the presence of someone special. Although I am not currently connected with a special person at this time, I know that my life will be filled with love and romance as it has been in good times gone by.

I agree with your premise that enhancing the romance is a choice - a decision to create more magical moments. I think the problem among couples who truly love each other is that they run out of ideas. In the magic is an element of surprise and mystery.

I look forward to buying your materials. We all need help in finding new ways to express ourselves so our love emotions are always fresh and meaningful to each other.

Please let me know when your next event or CD is available. I always want to stay in that place of passion that makes me want to write love songs.